Cranberry Juice Doesn't Expire?

I feel like S H I T. But it's funny as hell, so I can't complain!
I got some sort of sickness the other day. You know. The kind that makes you all stuffy and it's hard to breathe. Yeah, whatever the heck that is.

Like I said, I can't complain. It'll go away soon enough.

Anywho,
that's why I haven't been updating my blog lately. Or I'm just lazy. Take your pick.
I haven't been drawing a lot lately either. It's been this way for about a year now. It depresses me sometimes...since drawing is my life. Haha! I need to dig out that new art book I bought and start reading it.
Actually, what I REALLY need to do is hit the books. I've already fallen far behind in homework. It's my own damn fault, though. I need to manage my time better.

I haven't been practicing as much either. Hell, I don't even know if I'll be able to make it to drum lessons tomorrow. And that would mean no Phil! It's sad to think about...heh.

You know, every time something happens that has to deal with them I go on a total "shut down" for at least forty-six hours. That's just an estimate, but you get my point. I've drilled them down so far into my heart that letting them go is pretty much impossible. Not a day goes by without me wondering how they are.

I heard that my other friend was in the hospital for a couple of days. She had some sort of surgery...we don't really talk much anymore, so I don't get updated about her life too often. I just hope that she is doing well.

I miss everyone though. And by everyone, I mean EVERYONE (and everything). My friends, my teachers, people I never even knew, the hallways, the classrooms, having to carry a backpack around, sitting through dull lectures, playing tennis and then later hearing a certain someone say that I looked cute screwing off on the court. Hah!

I miss the arguments. Because after each one, everything would be okay again. Then I had blinded myself; and I abandoned her. I ran away. I can't even describe how much I hate myself for doing so...that's why I need to make it up to them. Somehow...

But I cannot linger on this forever, can I?
I mean, I have my entire life left to jack up! It's gonna be great!
Even without them by my side like they had always been, I can move on with a smile on my lips and my chin held high. Besides, they'll always be in my heart. I'll always find my way back to them.

So I guess caring about them oh-so much makes me a terrible, selfish person.
Nah. I care about everyone. Well, I can be terrible and selfish. I won't deny that. But, truly, I care for everyone. I'll find my way back to them, too.

Perhaps soon I'll get my inspiration back to draw.
I'll try out some other hobbies and broaden my horizons a little. Just need to give this artists' block some time to re-evaporate.

I've literally got an ass load of ideas, but when I sit down to start drawing them...I "die."

Hmm...I wonder when Kev will be able to play EverQuest. I'll kick his sorry behind for always mocking me! HAHA!

Looove you Keeeevy. <3